omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3pm strippers are depressing
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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