sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
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