I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
