awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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