all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Sext me about skeletons
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
