During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
