Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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