Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Randomize
