Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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