I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
