just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I checked into jail on foursquare
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
