I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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