so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
