so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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