90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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