I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
The struggles of a small town man whore
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
