i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i used baking grease as lip gloss
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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