At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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