I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
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The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
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Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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