I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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