Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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