no you cant smoke seaweed
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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