I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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