in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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