dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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