Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
