She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
