I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize