There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
