I bet he comes in French.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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