for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
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No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
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Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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