I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
