well you can't waste a boner
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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