It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
