Don't make out with my wife yet
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
