standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
