I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
