I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I want to walk on stilts...naked
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
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