That's intense
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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