I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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