btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
What a dumb baby whore.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Randomize
