youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
She tied me up with her honor cords...
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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