Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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