Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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