escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
