i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize