like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
