I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
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You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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