I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
