Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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