Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
