i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
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My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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