Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
