She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Randomize
