I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize