it was like his penis was on wheels.
only you would photoshop your dick
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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