So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
