some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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