If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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