My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
