That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
