those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize