This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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