I hate all girls vehemently.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
