wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize