drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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