Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize