i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
