I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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