fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You made out with two different species that night
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
