O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
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