what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
